The Buttload - #linux Quotes

There are html versions of buttload 3 onwards, use a short perl script to generate them, finally fixed it so the output is even somewhat nice (04/10/99).
The boundaries between each release are clearly marked.

The buttload files contain irc quotes from #linux and similar related channels on the undernet irc network.

These quotes were recorded for their amusement value, it all started eons ago (well a few years really) with the original buttload, this was mostly recorded by Wintre and some by joefu it seems.

Next came buttload2, this was short lived (but still amusing) recorded by asako, unfortunately this buttload has been mostly discontinued as asako is unable to live on irc for long periods of time currently. (wow he may actually have a life unlike the rest of us)

Then inspired by buttload2 and the original buttload another op on #linux started recording quotes and reaching back into over 98 MB of irc logs for more quotes to create the third buttload.

Buttload 4 finished at release 9.

And now there is a buttload five, the current buttload.

The html version of the buttload files allow links to the releases.
The Releases of buttload3 One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven
The Releases of buttload4 One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven Eight Nine
The Releases of buttload5 One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven

The Files

Also by request here is a file with a list of the buttload gifts I have given out that I can find in my logs at a quick glance. I have stopped handing out gifts in recent times, if people liked them or think I should start doing so again just send me an email.

Also not buttload related but amusing as all heck I thought was this page about how people in different professions hunt elephants also worth a read.

Below are some commentary and assorted quotes (yeah quotes of quotes... I live a small and protected life) if you wish to read this before grabbing the files.

---

• The Original Buttload
  This is the original taken a few years back and I think it is by far still the best. This buttload will show people new to #linux some of the people, egos, attitudes that otherwise would have been lost to the channel for ever.
  This buttload contains some classic quotes such as...

  <jql> Humans are cat dildos.

  <Lobsang> Fare: In fact not, but most tropical countries have only two distinct seasons: HOT and GOD DAMNED HOT, so we call it summer. :)

  <Procyan> is there like 1 person on earth that knows tcl/tk and is writing all of the apps?
  <unSlider> procyan: no, there are a bunch of people who dont know tcl/tk but are writing apps for it anyway

  * unSlider fondles lilo's boobs
  * unSlider sees no reaction
  * lilo looks at uns strangely.
  * unSlider uses a power sander on lilo's boobs
  

  * fusion passes out green things
  * lilo accepts a green thing from fusion, and has an interesting discussion with it about the works of Roman Polanski
  * Winter waits for lilo to eat the green thing.
  * lilo makes a particularly clever remark. The green thing laughs. lilo eats the green thing.
  * fusion cries
  * lilo consoles fusion
  * lilo eyes fusion hungrily
  * lilo eats fusion

  <Brazil> thank you all...:) i will come back if i need help ...this channel has been very friendly
  <Digital> Brazil: No, we're not friendly.
  <Digital> The topic is all a lie.
  <Digital> Don't beleive it.
  <Digital> We don't even run Linux. We sell blue carpet.
  

  <unSlider> how come yahoo lists 114 supermodel sites but not 1 torvalds/thompson picture?
  <tender> linus and ken dont have good legs

  <unSlider> i have a fucking taiwan special keyboard and i type like a fucking monkey. i love it
  <Winter> unS: You mean, on an infinite number of typewriters, working on this play about a Danish prince?
  <Digital> Wint: Of course, that assumes the monkeys are random, and it's a well known fact that monkeys are not random. You toss them on a 4billion degree flame, they burn. Pretty predictable. :)

  ---

• The Second Buttload
  This file appeared to me out of the blue one day when asako started talking about buttload. I had never heard of such a thing previously and asako started suggesting (at gun point was it?) that everyone in the channel grab a copy of the original buttload and his buttload. Me not knowing what a buttload was warily went to visit the url offered us. About five minutes later I was hooked for life. People in this buttload are probably familiar to current channel visitors and this provides a good entertaining introduction to the buttload way of life.
  The quotes of the quotes...

  * MajorTom almost has a deep introspective thought on the meaning of life, but alas, another great insight into the human condition is lost as his roomates pr0n screen saver kicks in....

  <xL> Hey man.. Windows NT is great for embedded applications.. Like 50lb doorstops.

  * xL is thinking of a book on "100 useless applications of Cat-5 cables"
  <xL> #1: A windows NT network

  *illuzion* the one where they portray the plight of deranged chihuahuas in modern society?
  -> *illuzion* somebody hasn't been taking his pills
  *> illuzion counts the pink elephants
  *> illuzion returns a non-positive transcendental number
  

  <SansGrip> *bad* time to ask for help
  > Sans: in #linux, there is no such thing as a good time to ask for help. :)

  * illuzion is away - watching pretty flashy lights - messages will be translated into FORTRAN and fed to an obese wombat

  <vw_bob> well, can qsomeone at least point me in a god direction?
  <Nuke> vw_bob: god direction? *points straight up*

  ---

• The Third Buttload
  html version.

  The Releases One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven

  I cant think of much to say in regard to this third buttload. (I will sound big headed and egotistical if I rave about it too much anyway) It is in release 7, 76 KB.
  Umm read it (enjoy it?) tell me if you like it :)
  Those quote thingies...

  * Coma used to feed his snake with chihuahuas until the whole neighbourhood ran out of them

  * steel_ points at steel
  <Tamahome> * steel points back at steel_, creating an infinite recursion

  * aiel wonders why the load on his O2 has passed 3.0
  <core> aiel: netscape ?
  <xL> aiel: I told you VRML pr0n was a bad idea :)
  

  <chingon> for now on im going to redirect the suslog output right to my ASS...howz that?
  <mdh-> chingon, no, your ass has been declared unsecure by CERT

  *** Topic for #linux: [2.0.35/2.1.124] * FAQ @ http://cupid.suninternet.com/linuxfaq * MSG me and I'll strangle you with my ethernet cable
  *** The topic was set by Greyfox 2156 sec ago
  * Greyfox:#linux notes that only one person has msged him since he set the topic, and that person wanted to know if he used CAT5.

  <jdh> linux sucks, just wait for Microsoft(tm) Windows(tm) NT(tm) Server(tm)
  <Kazz> jdh: Don't forget the TM on TM... ;)
  * aiel points out to jdh that Linux is also a (tm) now
  <xL> Hello my name is Linus(TM) and I pronounce Linux(TM) as Linooks(TM)

  <Tamahome> if you were really that smashed you'd have a hard enough time even RUNNING irc from the shell
  <razathorn> Tamahome: he's gona wake up in a puddle of drool and find millions of variations of "chat" "ric" "cir" "ircc" "irrccc" in his history
  <razathorn> *** Quits: fretless [drunk@somoneelsespoorhouse] (drool saturation on /dev/console)
  

  <django23> I have a stupid question: what does "sendmail" do?
  <Epesh> django: you're right, that is pretty stupid
  <Epesh> django: oh, you need an answer? "sendmail" resolves hostnames to IPs.

  <biohazard> recv() return shitty string, how can I convert it to ascii ?
  <ripper_> try shittytoa()

  <QRShag> 32 bits gives us the potential for 4,294,967,295 addresses... 48 bits would give us somewhere over 281,474,900,000,000 possible addresses. (Yes, 281 trillion.)
  <QRShag> At 48 bits, we can start assigning IP addresses to cockroaches.
  <QRShag> 2^64 would give us 18 quintillion addresses (hey, you lil' amoeba! how'd you like your own C-class?)

  <erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

  <IOExcept> MS Car 98: "System Fault: no recognizable road detected, please turn left, right or backup"

  ---

• The Fourth Buttload
  html version.

  The Releases One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven Eight Nine

  Oh no god help us he keeps on sending out these buttload things, a new one here now? let me out please let me out of here....

  <st2> Believe it or not! Vancouver got a total of 40hours of sunshine in the WHOLE month of January!
  * st2 needs to find a place that is sunny...so that he can hide indoor with his computer in sunny weather.

  <Paul-K> And of course, really weird code. "Well, this code that seemed so brilliant when I was up at 4:30am, now seems to be a chant about monkey beards."

  <Epesh> I'd break the camera. I'm a troll. in fact, I scare off trolls.
  <Epesh> I'm what little trolls think live under THEIR beds.

  <Gnuspice> shit, you know you've been doing too much SQL when you're at a prompt and do SELECT * FROM /bin;

  <zymurgy> #define NULL NULL /* because I can dammit! */

  * Tasuki sips on his b33r
  * Xscope sips his w4t3r

  #I# Signoff: st2 (Well, after playing all these CDs, I think it's time to rewind them)

  <aiel> ik? maar dat doet ik nooit!
  <Epesh> golly dutch sounds like a retarded language, unlike hebrew
  <Epesh> in hebrew that'd probably be: hacckkkkk spit ptttthew kkkk chchchchch uck

  * belarus prefers something stable...
  <belarus> ..chair, for example ;)
  * Tasuki watches belarus's chair seg. fault and dump him into the floor
  <belarus> argh... Tasuki, stop DOSing my chair!!!

  <Tasuki> Nagaku kisugita no kana... miji wo hareba naosara... sukiman hirogaru bakari!
  <Zymurgy> Tasuki: you tell em!
  <Zymurgy> .m Tasuki what the hell did you just say? :)
  <Tasuki> .m Zymurgy I have no fuggin idea

• The Fifth Current Buttload
  html version.

  The Releases One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven

  Yes the buttload is still going. There are no quotes on the webpage here yet from this release as I dont have heaps of time and anyway it is better to draw from a larger amount of content for the quotes I find.