################### buttload3 release 1 begins #######################

<SoylentG> What's buttload?
<SoylentG> Is that some kind of process monitor?

* sjh wonders if aiel is sneaking up on xL right now to tickle his feet
> s/tickle/place hot coals under/
<aiel> sjh - I tried that once. Then all of a sudden my O2 rebooted :)

*** Mode change "-b *!*@lamers.org" on channel #linux by aiel
<Coronach> lamers.org?
<Coronach> bwahahaha
<Coronach> neat
<SansGrip> i think it's just CNAME'd to aol.com

* Shai-tan kicks squid in the tentacles

<Greyfox> I mean, poodles have the same quality inbreeding that produced the British royal family, after all.

<DjLiNG> whats the difference between debian and redhat
<csv> the name
<csv> the taste
<csv> the crucnh
<cmos> about 100iq points.

<fretless> ever notice that chihuahuas have that way of making you feel guilty about stuff?
<fretless> they look at you with those buggy eyes like they're about to cry..
<Coma> fretless: nope. i usually step on them before they can

* Coma used to feed his snake with chihuahuas until the whole neighbourhood ran out of them

<fretless> "welcome to linux.. man mount, don't call it xwindows, man lilo, read the PPP howto, don't call it xwindows, /set nick_completion off, don't call it xwindows, quit using bitchx for christ's sake.

* Strider rebuilds his LInux boxen from scratch
* sjh hands strider a box of xor gates, these are good for the cpu

* sjh hands OM a teevee with usopen on it, go back to the panties, emacs rocks
<OldMonk> sjh: xemacs comes with panties.el, emacs doesn't <giggle>

<core> xL: she wants twins, the idea of little jen's running around is cute and scary at the same time ;-)
* core foresees little purple hearts glued on his sparc
<core> or they will clean my alpha in the tub to make a surprise
> core: I seem to remember you saying you didnt like the alpha anymore anyway *duck*
<core> sjh: yeah, but a computer doesn't deserve such a treatment :)
<Tamahome> core: it's not like the darn thing is gonna howl in pain or anything :P
<core> tamahome: no, but i will :)

* steel_ points at steel
<Tamahome> * steel points back at steel_, creating an infinite recursion

<AdamScott> What access rights do I need for /home/httpd/cgi-bin ?
<Ubiq> AdamScott: 777
<Coma> 777 is a stupid thing to do, don't you think
<st2> 777 is a feature, not a bug.
<kleptog> coma: true, but you have to learn somehow :)
<kleptog> why not make it 7777 while you're at it

<core> tasuki: my pride is my girlfriend :)
<Kazz> He programmed a VERY nice girlfriend for himself... ;)

* aiel wonders why the load on his O2 has passed 3.0
<core> aiel: netscape ?
<xL> aiel: I told you VRML pr0n was a bad idea :)

* st2 just realized! He cannot pick up chicks becuz he doesn't have the huge bandwidth that comes with ADSL.
<cmos> st2: i have a 33kb
<cmos> st2: which means i leave it to download and go to a party.
<st2> At the party the chicks will ask you "So, what kind of bandwdith do you have?"

<aiel> last patched 7 days ago :)
<core> aiel: hmm, what did they fix now? :)
<aiel> core - broken stuff :)

<xL> sheez, where's that panty-fetished sitar player when you need him?

<gargan> disk guru refuses to believe i have a hard drive
<gargan> it wants to partition my cd rom
<Techs> gargan computers are always right, partition the cd-rom..

<tao> Is running outa beer one of the signs at the end of the world?
<aiel> tao - no, it means you need to go to the pub

* razathorn hath returned from the great (void *)

* GrndZero had to dump the memory on the smart card in order to watch the movie...the stupid thing was blocked because of it being 'R'
<eeyore-> GrndZero: already circumventing parents' traps? :)
<GrndZero> eeyore-: I'm going to be a criminal when I grow up ;)

<jakkyL> that wouldnt take much...my grandma is faster than win95

<aiel> COBOL is the language of choice to code irc servers in
<mike_> cmos: an irc server written in applscript, or COBOL... :)
<aiel> that's why all IRC networks suck, the servers are coded in C
<Ham_> BASIC is the language of choice for all modern day servers
<Coma> visual basic, that is
<Ham_> Nah, Chipmunk Basic!
* Coma tries to imagine ircu in visual basic with a clickable interface
<cmos> FOR COUNTER = 1 TO 100 STEP 5
<cmos> Coma: don't imagine, download conference room.
<cmos> NEXT COUNTER

<chingon> i hate end users to much. talk about being retarded. is internet broken? no you fucking tard its not...you are!

<jdh> xroach: you don't "upgrade" things in snackware, you attempt to install something, then try to fix whatever the crap broke.

<fotang> it takes 3 hours to cook a cat

<sq000s> bitchx is like those fat chicks that wear too much pink and blue makeup and make their hair into a blonde fro

<cmos> sjh: you couldn't get my ip address if you were god.
* Skyelar is god, and can find out cmos's ip address >;)
* sjh decides to become an athiest after this revelation from sky :)
<Skyelar> sjh: now you know why the world is so fucked up... I run it ;)
<cmos> sjh: Skyelar is root on the box i'm shelling to.

<berinder> Can i do, ehh, i mean.. How DO i make my Linux puter visible for my lame friends that use Winsucks95 on the lan?
<illuzion> berinder: ./teardrop win.95.ip.address <-- that'll wake them up :)

* illuzion hax0rs his toaster

* aiel just declared another bofh week
<cmos> aiel: thats 300 weeks in a row now! :)

* Epesh just noticed his 3-week old son is wearing his female cousin's clothes. Hey, I dressed him in the dark at 3:30 a.m.
<sickboy> epesh: type man parenting ?

<cheezlbub> Aiel: yer caring spice... every body wants to see you ;)
<Epesh> oooo, aiel as spice girl! I like it. Man, you're hairier than the rest of 'em.

*** sstone (~sstone@210.145.37.185) has joined channel #Linux
<OldMonk> i thought you were Sharon Stone and was planning to ask you out for dinner and panties.

*** sstone has been kicked off channel #linux by OldMonk (lose the bold colon)
<Epesh> OM: that's my line.
<OldMonk> Epesh: you'll have to copyright it first.
<Epesh> Lose the Bold Colon (c) Epesh 1998
<OldMonk> oh shit, now i have to start thinking up my own lines!
* Epesh grins at OM. There's a license available...
> epesh... I am sure OM has some SGI boxen (origin or similar) hanging round the office to give you in exchange for a licence :)
* Epesh perks up. OM, hand me an SGI and "LTBC" is yours, period, sole license-holder, and I'll figure out a new one myself. :)
* aiel sees OM dish up an old 33 MHz R3k for Epesh
<aiel> with irix 4.X
<aiel> Ep - irix 4.X is like sco on a drug cocktail (tm) xL

* aiel hands simon SATAN
* illuzion wonders if Satan appreciates being passed round the channel

* steel_ likes tar -zxvf
> ahh hmm I usually just ignore what is actually in the file <g>
* steel_ pictures sjh cackling in insane glee while untarring archives all over his hard drive, not a care in the world

<aiel> slackware sucks, I know that for a fact, I use it to vacuum clean the house

<jdh_> not to be confused with gwack
<jdh_> Remb: gwack, the gpl'ed version
* vanRijn translates gwack into EBCIDIC, copyrights it, and sends it to jdh
* vanRijn removes one of the I's from his EBCIDIC and recompiles

#I# UnDrWaReZ (non@207-172-120-44.s44.tnt14.brd.erols.com) joined channel #linux
<vanRijn> UnDrWaReZ, ROFLMAO. Did it never occur to you that your nick is what I have on my ass right now?
* vanRijn doesn't particularly need either his underwarez right now, so he removes them

> diagram: dont ask to ask, just fucking ask
* vanRijn wants to see a 'f***ing ask' versus a 'regular ask'
<RelDrgn> vanRijn: c*n y** hel* me *** ****** f*****?

<chingon> for now on im going to redirect the syslog output right to my ASS...howz that?
<mdh-> chingon, no, your ass has been declared unsecure by CERT

> argh akopps did /join #LiNuX again
* sjh hmmms over the moral implications of /kick akopps for that #I# jdh left channel #LiNuX #I# jdh (~jdh@balance.wiw.org) joined channel #lInUx
* sjh wonders about the sick minds of the people in here
* aiel snatches jdh's crack pipe away
* jdh wonders about the fascists in here
* Coronach opresses jdh.

<Cabbage> DM: Well, what the hell do you mean by "I can't get the Internet working"? It sure as hell looks like it's working from here!
<Greyfox> Nah, the internet's actually been broken for the past couple of days
<Greyfox> This is all just a figment of your imagination

<Bensinc> I hope StarOffice 5.0 will be better.
> ben: dont you have a doze box you run office and photoshop on anyway?
<Bensinc> sjh: Yes, but I'd rather not have to turn my chair around.

<Greyfox> Slakware is icky. Like finding out you had sex with a close relative (Except in Georgia, where the practise is more widely accepted.)

<eeyore-> GrndZero: otherwise, the chip gets hot enough to burn water (and your fingers)
> woohoo burn water
* dev_null makes a note:*never* have dinner at eeyore's house

*** Topic for #linux: [2.0.35/2.1.124] * FAQ @ http://cupid.suninternet.com/linuxfaq * MSG me and I'll strangle you with my ethernet cable
*** The topic was set by Greyfox 2156 sec ago
* Greyfox notes that only one person has msged him since he set the topic, and that person wanted to know if he used CAT5.

<OldMonk> BobJ: tell your friend to hire me for $30k for telecommuting, and pay someone $50/week to come and load the DLT's :)
<cmos> $400 for redhat, $500 for slackware.
<OldMonk> cmos: how much for nt?
<cmos> OldMonk: $1M and a the swedish bikini team.
<cmos> when i do sysadmin work, i need two things
<cmos> root, and uptime
<cmos> NT gives me niether, so i need the Swedish Bikini team.
<OldMonk> cmos: i can understand the bikini team giving you UP-time, but where does the root come in?
<cmos> OldMonk: soon after the uptime =]

<Dan_> then again, the IBM keyboard I have is mostly metal
<Coma> dan: you could kill somebody with that
* aiel doesn't use keyboards to beat people over the head, I can use Stevens' "Advanced programming in the UNIX environment" to do that (some 1000 pages and hard-cover :)
<Dan_> but aiel, I have this nice chord I could use to whip the keyboard around at hit someone at 10 feet

<usr> Is there a commmand in Linux like dos's |more?
<rosc> usr, | more
<rosc> usr, or | less
<usr> those work?
<rosc> usr, no, I just like misleading clueless newbies ;p

* Dante wonders why Redhat was in such a hurry to release 5.0
<rosc> dante, the penis-wagging factor I'd say

<ronmgrbbl> Hey who sells www hosting on a linux server with shell access?
<rosc> ron, no one here, go away
<ronmgrbbl> rosc: you are mad with ops power. be quiet.
*** ronmgrbbl has been kicked off channel #linux by rosc (heres the door)
* rosc cackles with mad Ops power

<jdh_> solaris is dead, long live NT
* jdh_ attempts to say that without laughing.
* aiel sees jdh fail ;)

<Twinkie> will someone just help me with the tcl problem..that is all i ask?
<Niels> this is #linux not #tcl. this is #linux not #luser-bots. this is #linux not #irc_help.
<Niels> what part of "no" is unclear to you?

<hades> damn
<hades> now i'm outta food
> go rob an eating establishment hades...
<hades> sjh: its 5:40 am, none are open
> okay... then break into a closed one and rob it... duh

* DW believes in baseball bat security

<DW> 2.0.33 seems stable. Been up 15 mins now.

* aiel likes his own game best
<nyztihke> aiel: twiddling your thumbs? :)
<aiel> playing with a 10,000 hosts nationwide network :o)

<Xscope> Wintre: a kick in the balls in better than NT
<Wintre> Xscope: I wouldn't go that far; at least you can install the GNU Usertools on NT
* sjh thinks about porting the gnu usertools tools to a kick in the balls

* GrndZero gets a woody watching dpkg fly on the new machine.

<BVS> GrndZero needs a gf :)
<GrndZero> I need working X

<cultrJAM> why do i regularly feel like i have Bill GAtes 'thingy' deep up in my rectal cavity??
<cultrJAM> i dont think it feels that good, either

* illuzion had forgotten how full of MORONS the world can be
<Mr_Fab> That is why I sit at home and throw rocks at people that try to approach me

> xL: is aiel at his desk?
<xL> no
<xL> he's wandering around
<Tornado> he must be bored :>
<asako> xL: throw hardware at him
<asako> It's very hard to be bored when you're dodging SPARCstations incoming at terminal velocity.
<cmos> make a program send continiuos BELL chars to his O2's console
<xL> heh
<xL> the only sparc we have here is a sparcserver330
<asako> xL: so throw that
<xL> and you'd really want not to be hit by that one
<xL> since it weighs a ton :)
<asako> xL: if the situation gets desperate, throw lusers
> xL: throw sales staff at him
<cmos> xL: whats it for? punishment?
<xL> bwahah
<xL> sjh, now there's a good idea
<xL> cmos: One day it was standing besides my desk with a note on it reading "Sales wants you to install NT on this machine".. It's a peculiar kind of humor one of my coworkers has :)

<jdh> linux sucks, just wait for Microsoft(tm) Windows(tm) NT(tm) Server(tm)
<Kazz> jdh: Don't forget the TM on TM... ;)
* aiel points out to jdh that Linux is also a (tm) now
<xL> Hello my name is Linus(TM) and I pronounce Linux(TM) as Linooks(TM)

<docfu> epesh i had a really nasty experience with efnet #freebsd yesterday
<Epesh> bsd people are usually okay. of course, they JUST got ELF support... next they'll drive mechanical carriages and stop using candles to tell the time
<docfu> we figured if they were going to bash linux we'd better get them to bash themselves first
<docfu> so joff bensinc and i started a huge netbsd vs openbsd war :)
<docfu> we went completely on the words 'net' vs 'open'
<docfu> i used shit like 'real time buffered cache'
<docfu> but the funny thing is
<docfu> they couldn't tell we were bsing
<docfu> some guy thought they actually improved netbsd's networking code :P

<diomedes> how do you spell misogis???? the word meaning to hate women
<fretless-> diomedes: that would be m-o-r-o-n-i-c

<OneFix> How big is GCC?
<Rezidew> OneFix: About this big: GCC

<GrndZero> Okay, I'm not understanding something here :P
<Xscope> GrndZero: women have breasts for guys to fondle

<shokkwave> a/s/l ??
<RelDrgn> shokkwave: j00 hAv3 n00d13 P1X 4 m3??! R3allY 1 aM 23 Yr 0lD MaN wAnT N3tS3x j00!

<RelDrgn> nonREAL: theres a seckret c0mmanD t0 g3t r3wT 0n a b0X, type su iwannaber3wt three hundred times and it will make you root

<Tamahome> if you were really that smashed you'd have a hard enough time even RUNNING irc from the shell
<razathorn> Tamahome: he's gona wake up in a puddle of drool and find millions of variations of "chat" "ric" "cir" "ircc" "irrccc" in his history
<razathorn> *** Quits: fretless [drunk@somoneelsespoorhouse] (drool saturation on /dev/console)

<Tamahome> what's so cute about a damn vending machine?
<jdh> a vending machine with perky tits?
<Coma> lol. never saw a vending machine with tits
<Coma> hmm. new idea. a vendingmachine that sells tits
<Tamahome> Coma: patent it before someone steals the idea!
<Coma> you can choose. a1 = cup a a2 = cup b a3 = cup c
<jdh> a vending machine that sells realdolls
<Coma> jdh: that would make a huge vending machine. i can stuff inflateble sheep in it, but realldolls.... problem

<WoRm> how do i mount my modem
<kleptog> WoRm: unplug the cables and take it to bed? :)

<aiel> some moron changed the root passwd on the Origin 200 pr0n server :/
<aiel> we're calling up the suspect
<OldMonk> call at 0100 am wearing a dark overcoat and slouchy hat.

<st2> can you people talk in C? I can't understand what's happening.
<st2> this english stuff is too difficult to understand at 3 in the morning.

############ buttload3 release 1 ends, release 2 begins ##############

<illuzion> there is a cat on my keyboard.
<aiel> illuzion - shoot it

<User-X> am i wrong or is coma the most competent linuxer around here...he's the one answering all the questions :)
<aiel> he's just the one that has nothing better to do
<aiel> like getting laid or something
<Coma> aiel: not during the work hours.
<xL> The less life you have the more questions you can potentially answer here :-)
<Coma> and i'm not really gonna jump upon the lady at the front desk like aiel and xl would do

<OldMonk> is someone discussing sex?
<aiel> OM - someone is not, but we are
<OldMonk> they don't call me Old ``Eagle-eye-for-sex'' Monk for nothing :)
<xL> You mean Old 'coitus interruptus' Monk?
<aiel> Old ``panty-lovin freak'' Monk
<User-X> this discussion has gone a little bit far i think :)
<OldMonk> not far enough.
<aiel> user - no one has gotten laid yet, so we can go a lot further if it's up to me
* OldMonk got laid once.
<aiel> OM - not during this discussion, I don't think so
<OldMonk> far back in the mists of time... i seem to remember it was a pleasurable experience.

<xL> somehow I think they should GPL sex.. The source of sex should be free to alter :)
<xL> heh, women are probably written in PROLOG anyway :-)
* BillG copyrights sex and EVERYONE HAS TO PAY HIM A ROLYALTY AT EACH USAGE

<aiel> radio - unless your a 20 year old blonde with perky breats and nice butt, and long legs, you're not allowed to message me.
<OldMonk> *psst* aiel, don't forget ``heterosexual''
<aiel> OM - I wouldn't care if she was a woman
<aiel> I mean, getting laid with a homosexual woman, is as far as I can see it, the same as getting laid with a heterosexual woman
<aiel> they both happen to be women you know
<Tamahome> except it's less likely with the former type :P
<aiel> tama - not if you tie her to the bed
<xL> Uhm, getting laid _with_ a woman could mean that you were getting laid by a 40-year old bearded truckdriver from Wisconsin called Bubba while the woman was watching.

* aiel notes that xL is nitpicking
<aiel> apparently he has nothing better to do
<aiel> like getting laid with a woman
<xL> of course you're embedded in work
<xL> so let me put up a protective gline
<xL> or you'll get behind schedule ;)
* aiel holds his finger on the reboot button on r10k
<xL> I guess we'll need to settle this with a foodfight
* xL tosses a roasted possum at aiel's face
<aiel> damn! I don't have any lunch leftovers to throw into xL's face /* editor's note: xL and aiel work in the same office */

<User-X> do you discuss linux a lot here...or just domains and sex? :)
<aiel> User-x - when we get real horny, we start discussing Linux

* aiel wants beer
* aiel wants sex
<rosc> aiel, bend over!
<aiel> not that kind

<TamaFreud> so...keep tellink us about yer mother
<Epesh> she was HOT, man! A HOT MAMA!

<django23> I have a stupid question: what does "sendmail" do?
<Epesh> django: you're right, that is pretty stupid
<Epesh> django: oh, you need an answer? "sendmail" resolves hostnames to IPs.

<cmos> raz: DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME ABOUT 3COM RACKS
<illuzion> cmos was molested by a misguided 3com rack as a child

* rosc isn't here to spoonfeed
* Zymurgy watches rosc get her big shit stirrin' spoon out and go to work on #linux... :-)

<illuzion> bwaha
<illuzion> windows telnet runs in wine
<Numard> illuzion.. cool!!! (open wine, open windog telnet, telnet localhost, open wine, windog telnet, telnet localhost)

<kleptog> who here has read the director of microsoft france's open letter?
<Euchrid> No
<Euchrid> What does he say?
<Euchrid> We plan to launch MSNuclear on the pacific rim?
<kleptog> Euchrid: no, that linux is a fringe operating system and zero-cost is irrelevent, on slashdot
<aiel> what do they mean by "fringe"?
<cygan> aiel: a "fringe" is the hair that falls over your forehead
<cygan> aiel: you know like 'hair'?
<cygan> aiel: the orange stuff that sticks out of your head?
<Euchrid> I've got it! Fringe means "uncrashable"

* cygan had a bad day today - I did rm *>bak instead of rm *.bak :)
<cygan> thank god for backups of backups :)

<biohazard> recv() return shitty string, how can I convert it to ascii ?
<ripper_> try shittytoa()

<biohazard> comic
<Wenslauw> no cat?
<rosc> hog tied kitty!
> hmm MS Comic Cat the new pet you really want to beat the shit out of

<Myth> there are only 2 linux viruses, bliss, and slackware

* druiid takes out his bashing stick and begins to hit WMsound... "work damn you.."
<Wintre> Bashing stick?
<druiid> wintre: it's my multi use bashing stick.. you've never seen it?
* druiid hands wintre his bashing stick... a long thick piece of oak... fashioned into a cane like apparatus..
<docfu> wintre echo 'bash; bash; bash;' > stick;chmod 755 stick;./stick

* Tigger4 feels extremely new to the channel only being here 1 year and listening to the older peoples stories
<druiid> tigger4: "why I remember back when I was a young'un and I used to... wait.. I can't remember what I used to do... ahh.. my teef..."

<QRShag> 32 bits gives us the potential for 4,294,967,295 addresses... 48 bits would give us somewhere over 281,474,900,000,000 possible addresses. (Yes, 281 trillion.)
<QRShag> At 48 bits, we can start assigning IP addresses to cockroaches.
<QRShag> 2^64 would give us 18 quintillion addresses (hey, you lil' amoeba! how'd you like your own C-class?)

<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

<core-work> i'll be in the USA in umm 4 days now *g*
<rosc> core, so come to south jersey while yer here :>
<core-work> rosc: argh, we've already been asked the same thing (with a different state name) by 512 other people.. nah, you come to NC ;)
<rosc> core, go on tour :>
* rosc buys tickets to the Core World Tour
<DW> Core World Tour ... I like that.
<core-work> 26th in charlotte.. 4th in paris.. 5th in montpellier
<aiel> ahah... "Core on Tour" hysteric women all over the US... I can see it before me!
* steel_ hides his women
<core-work> well i did that this summer already
<core-work> 16th of august in london
<steel_> I think I'll put them all under my desk ;)
<core-work> 20th of august in lille
<DW> Steel keeps more than one women?
<core-work> 21th of august in paris!.. then umm 15th of october in lille .. 16th of october in brussels

<OldMonk> geez! i'm gonna kill whoever designed the indian telephone system
<OldMonk> .m sjh csi_x is a well-known smuggler and underworld kingpin in Malayasia. don't step on his toes
<OldMonk> oops :)
> .m oldmonk csi designed the indian telephone system... be careful

<aiel> man... there's limits to how many hours you can do Documentation in a day. My limit lies at 3 hours :>
<core-work> aiel: mine is lower.. about 10 minutes. i document my sources, should be enough :)
<aiel> core - I don't I *hate* 20 line comments in source code
<mfrisch> aiel, I guess you won't like my source code then :-)
* DW doesn't care about comments good code is hard to write, it should be hard to read :)
<core-work> aiel: i put some comments for most variables and when i do something odd (i.e. all the time ;)
<xL> aiel: keeping your sources obscure means you are assured of work in the next few years :)
<aiel> if (res != SUCCESS) { /* We're in deep shit now */ <-- I wrote that :)
<core-work> i saw some if (assert (fptr)) { INTERNAL_ERROR ("Twilight zone"); }
<aiel> if ((strlen (type) + strlen (value) + strlen ("=") + 1) > BUF_LEN) /* shoot the luser that sends a 256+ char search key! */

* DW chants new system, new system, new system
* core-work chants getting laid, getting laid, getting laid

<xL> well, man, like californians use "duuuuude" a lot, as do people who smoke pot all day :)
* steel_ fires up his bong.
<rosc> hey duuuuude, gimme a hit on that bong
<xL> duuuuude man, this phattie is cracking me up...
<DW> #linux on pot ... god help the next luser who wanders in.
<xL> like, hey, I never knew tcsh looked so cuuute..

* HEMI heard someone talking about how cool it would be to have win95 as the OS for your brain... and I was like, 'Yeah, really cool...I'll come up and whisper half a word quietly in your ear...it'll give "blue screen of death" new meaning.'

<Gnuspice> hemi: IRIX? I don't want every little script kiddie having root on my brain!
<shokkwave> sheeeesh could you hear it in this place ? "I think my heads been rooted"
<HEMI> Remember that Seal song? "There's two men inside my head..." that would be someone that's got root. :P
<shokkwave> or in #hackphreak today I goT r3\//\/+ in shokks h3A|>

<HEMI> <HEMI> ? sex.sh
<HEMI> <NovaBOT> sex.sh == talk; flex; grep; touch; finger; unzip; mount /dev/girl -t wet; workbone; fsck; fsck; gasp; fsck; yes; yes; yes; umount /dev/girl; zip; done; sleep

* Twist returns to humping his makefile.

<illuzion> is there any signal you can send to a process to tell it to let go of all that fucking memory it's hogging? :)
<aiel> kill -9
<xL> illuzion: in the case of NT the best signal you can send is 380 volts down the mains.
<Tamahome> kill -STOPHOGGINGALLMYFUCKINGRAMGODDAMMIT <pid>

<OldMonk> Here I am, a brain the size of a planet and all they can say is, ``How do I setup my PPP?''

-OldMonk- [#linux] all those who believe jql is God aka Linus please raise your hands in the channel
*** OldMonk has been kicked off channel #linux by jdh (I don't think so)
* jql lowers his hand (to his holy crotch)

<Coma> was reading one of those 3r33t newsgroups the other day. man, they really made me laugh
<Coma> where can i get a free shell?
<Coma> re: where can i get a free shell
<Coma> and so on, all kiddies asking for shells
<akopps> Coma: send him bash.tgz /* editor's note: coma did infact post bash.tgz to the news group a few minute later */

<jql> when asprin makes me state at the back of my hand and eat cheetos by the bag, I'd want people put in jail for using it.

* docfu was attacked by an emac
<Kazz> docfu: I saw an emac mating with an imac...

* rbos KILLS his typist with ruthless and joyful abandon, resulting in messy chunks all over the ceiling and two legs cut off at the knees at the centre of a large circle of gore
> hmm another victim of quake withdrawl symptoms
* rbos bows, orders another typist from FnordEx "When it absolutely has to be there yesterday"

<illuzion> what's a good definition of "telnet"
<illuzion> the revered WINDOWS TELNET.EXE
<cmos> telnet is a remote login based thingy, see rfc1123
* OldMonk ^5's cmos... if the f**ker doesn't know what an rfc is s/he doesn't deserve to be on a computer anyway.

<docfu> its too bad we can't move to the moon and ban .earth

<druiid> tigger4: and if MS made cars.. you would have to buy a new car if it was found that there was a bug..
<Macros> If Red Hat made cars, they'd be perfect, except that any time you tried to upgrade the sparkplug, you'd have to upgrade five other parts, too. ;)
<Tigger4> druid: bug???? those are features!!! :)
<druiid> tigger4: what? you mean the car engine is supposed to fall apart like that?
<Tigger4> druid: Microsoft would market it as a feature where your engine disassembles itself for easy cleaning or some bs
<druiid> tigger4: "now 40% faster.... engine destruction..."
<IOExcept> yes, hidden easter eggs: at 70mph+, on the second tuesday of March, the brake and gas peddle reverse functions...
<Macros> Improve your driving experience with MS Offroad 98! (Warning: steering wheel may detach when gripped. MS denies all claims of suitability for a particular purpose, like driving.)
<occupant> and of course, they would have to re-invent the wheel.
<druiid> MS car logo: "We'll tell you where to go today.."
> MS car for people who really enjoy car crashes
<Macros> MS Car 98 -- the Choice of a Dead Generation
<druiid> sjh: MS car why have a VW bug when you can have a BUG?
<IOExcept> MS Car 98: "System Fault: no recognizable road detected, please turn left, right or backup"

* OldMonk fondles Nuke.
* wart rapes oldmonk.
<wart> God I do love to rape a good monk every few days.
* OldMonk invites wart to come and sit on his lap for awhile.
<wart> jdh: You ever rape him? he _is_ good.
<jdh_> wart: nah, he usually seems me and starts begging for it.
* OldMonk runs 7thSphere-2.65+ANTI-RAPE

*** Mode change "+b-b *%n*!*@* *%n*!*@*" on channel #linux by Nuke
* OldMonk watches all the Splitfire users disconenct
<xL> bwahahha
* Nuke LARTs OldMonk
<xL> SplitchX

<illuzion> wow, MAE-EAST is loaded as shit
<illuzion> lee: I don't know but it's adding over 1000ms to my ping in a traceroute
<st2> Hmmmm...this packet belongs to illuzion, let's put it at the bottom of the queue.
* docfu ping -f's MAE-East just to piss illuzion off even more

<ChuChu> chuu! ^_^;
* illuzion studies ^_^; and determines it looks like a squashed insect

<ChuChu> I wonder why they haven't invented a special .pr0n filetype

<Kazz> Bigf00t: Is the kernel source also in /usrc/src/linux ? ;)
<Moshing> Bigf00t: The source is really in /usr/local/src/WaReZ/.hidden/.so/.the/.admin/.cant/.find/.it/linux, check there.

<illuzion> tummy: so how's life down in Christchurch at 2:20am?
> luz how is life in NZ?
<illuzion> sjh: we have a woman prime minister who distorts gravity as she walks down the street, what do you think? :)

* illuzion hangs a mistletoe over fretless' monkey's ass
<illuzion> fret: how about a five-ass raped monkey? :)
* illuzion finds four more bits of mistletoe

<xL> heheh smoking crack is cool... it's the stopping with it that sucks :)
<Muamar> xL: Why do you wanna stop if it's so cool ???
<xL> muamar: because you ran out of stolen car radios? :D
<Muamar> xL: Get a job...
<xL> Nuamar: having a job and smoking crack are intrinsically incompatible..

<fretless> my fiance and I had a cat we called stinkynuts :)
<fretless> listen to the second adam sandler cd..
<fretless> especially the 'goat' skit
<fretless> 'they make me chase my tail.. call me stinkynuts'
<fretless> thing is.. you'd wake up and the cat would be laying there with his big fat fucking nuts in your face
<fretless> I used to flick 'em.. he'd run off.. haha
<fretless> he deserved it :)
<fretless> sticking his fat ol nuts in my face..

<jdh> I used to have a FreeBSD box, it was boring so I put linux on it too :)

<Da_Guru> hey, what's the topic about, i know 2.0.33 is the kernel, but what is 2.1.75???
<OldMonk> Guru: my gf's vital stats
<Docboy> OM: i thought she was your wife?
<OldMonk> Doc: my wife has better stats :)

<rot13> monk: with 10mm hair and a sunroof, it's bad: the wind tickles your head too much.
<OldMonk> rot: that's why i sold my Ferrari and bought a Honda Accord instead ;)

<BexBox> checking for working aclocal... missing , I need to install aclocal , how can I do that?
> hmmm checking for working alcohol.... missing, OMG NEED BEER

<Carrot> anybody know what the ops chat message is? for kvirc
<GrndZero> Carrot: /msg ops I WANT TO SEX YOU

<Tamahome> buttload 0wnz j00

* FreakzZ points a gun at a cockroach...."Gimme your IP or you die!"
* akopps hath a static IP
* akopps is a cockrach, thus

############ buttload3 release 2 ends, release 3 begins ##############

<Redb3ard> im getting homesick for windows 95... is there a distribution of linux that constantly crashes, installs modules and upgrades without my permission, and is bloated up by 670% ?

/* editor's note: the following excerpt was contributed by akopps */
* NanoDead daffer op i banken.. !!!!
* akopps looks at NanoDead
*** NanoDead has been kicked off channel #linux by OldMonk (You have activated the ^BAutomatic Moron Ejection System^B(tm))
<Coma> he'll never learn i guess
<Tama-chan> I wonder if he thinks we understand him or something
> This NanoDead is funny
> He gets kicked twice a day at least
<Coma> akopps; rather annoying, imo
> you guys should keep him for fun
<OldMonk> make him the channel mascot?
<sjh> s/mascot/dartboard/
> OM: yeah ! :p
<Coma> lol. "get your own nanodead here. now only $29.95 and the 2nd for half the price"
> rofl
<sjh> any time we really feel the need to kick someone... hey we have a canidate
<mike_> sjh: there's _always" a candidate
* Coma blinds himself and takes a random pick
<Coma> .... and the winner is ....... mike!!!
<jql> hahaha
<Coma> /k mike bye ;)
<sjh> s/bye/you win/

* docfu pats 17G of cheap storage and wanders off to order more amiga hardware
<Raspberry> you people are wierd always patting your hardware
* Tasuki nuzzles his box
* Tama-kun hugs his ViewSonic
* Raspberry dry humps his 13gb server
* docfu grabs xL's elan card and rubs his ass with it
<docfu> i'm not feeling any ouch!
<docfu> fricking pins
* docfu chucks the card and tamahome
<docfu> ahh, now i feel better

* sjh shits up as this is severely off topic
* Demi boots sjh in the butt for defying biology ;)

<Skyelar> To bed or to Gimp, that is the question.
<Coma> sky: gimp! gimp! gimp!
* Skyelar brings on the Gimp

<illuzion> on a pII-333 w/128MB of ram, NT is okay, but other than that it's a sluggish piece of shit
<LnkStern> illuz: Understood -- point being, NT is _supposed_ to be better at self-protection and reliability than Win95, but it still dies at an alarming rate
<illuzion> NT still crashes, it just tells you it's doing it rather than saying "system may be unstable" two ns before a COMPLETE lock up

* Greyfox ponders going downstairs and making some hardboiled eggs, and then hopping in the car, driving 2 hours to greensboro, installing linux on his work computer, and taking over the office network.
<Koichi> Down, Greyfox, you're waxing megalomaniacal over there.
<Greyfox> It's gonna happen sooner or later.
* Greyfox WILL destroy those NT machines! He will! Muahahahahaha!

/* editor's note: contributed by docboy */
<shocking> whoohoo the redhat book is finally big enough to hurt someone with
<Bensinc> shocking: The Red Hat book of man pages can take out a car!
> usr/doc could crush a house depending on what type of paper it was printed onto

<illuzion> gah! I have been found out
* illuzion is a bot
<illuzion> oh the shame
<akopps> *** CTCP VERSION reply from illuzion: eggdrop v1.2.0+sekret-fixez
<akopps> !seen Greyfox
<illuzion> GreyFox was last seen on the channel %d hours and %d seconds ago
<illuzion> aaghh
<illuzion> it's all flooding back
<illuzion> the horror
<Coma> luz seems to have a bug
<Coma> kill -9 illuzion
> hmm luz has a bug... Microsoft illuzion version 8 (Commercial Release)
> you know microsoft seem to live on marketing illusions :)
<Uz> aiel: i dont know, i just checked in, but everything seems to be illuzion's fault...so you can prolly safely blame him
<illuzion> yes that's right
<illuzion> blame the poor bot

<aiel> oh, so I'll do it after lunch then... if we ever get that today still
<xL> lunch has been obsoleted
<xL> Lunch NT is the new thing
<aiel> xL - bah, I hate blue fries

* Epesh likes emacs the bestest though
* sjh agrees with epesh, emacs is god
<Epesh> no, *I* am God, XEmacs is merely a really big prophet.

<illuzion> sendmail washes the car

<Ferondia> Ne1 here proficient at Win X questions?
> /whois Ne1 19:47:09 #E# is no nickname Ne1
<akopps> sjh: your wrong
<akopps> *** ne1 is ne1@ip215.seattle7.wa.pub-ip.psi.net (I am an ircle 3.0 user)
<akopps> People , quickly /msg ne1 with your questions !

* OldMonk downloads n00d photos of PAM from pr0n.redhat.com

* nelsk tests networked printer in winbox
* dogbert steals nelsk's printer
* RelDrgn hacks nelsk's winbox and prints out "HAHA" in 150 pt font 3000 times

<illuzion> 1. always spend more than you have, 2. always buy the latest whizzy thing, which would dropp 50% in price in 2 weeks but who cares, you want it now. 3. always have at least five more things on your "must buy" list, 4. never fix broken things, always buy newer, faster ones. 5. always get something that's at least 10 times faster than you actually need

* Ham kisses his K6-2 and burns his lips in the process
* Tigger4 watches the K6-2 run to the authorities screaming RAPE

* illuzion explodes
<Uz> ewww, illuzion inards on the drapes...that'll never come out

<codesearc> hi ho hi ho i'm off to delete winblows

<BlackOut> Hey Tasuki......i need your expirience.....!
<Tasuki> BlackOut: then drop contact with all your human friends, never leave your house, and sit in front of your computer running Linux more than 10 hours a day for at least two years.
<jdh_> bah... 10 hours is nothing

<xL> Strider: If I taught my cat to speak tcp it'd outrace NT

* akopps wonders what that button does
> re all
<akopps> Ah, that button activates sjh

<pH0XpH1R3> man page ?
<akopps> phox: dd if=/dev/clue of=/dev/brain
<Tamahome> /dev/brain: filesystem corrupt
<Tamahome> consider immediate fsck

* st2 read the man pages "...Don't use this option unless you are an expert, in which case you won't need help!"
<st2> oh great!
<st2> smart alec man pages!
<st2> man nmbd .. in the -p part.

<st2> *ak47-* Hi, I'm 18/f and I'm trying to become a model, I was wondering if you could go see my picture's at
<st2> http://www.tande.com/bebes19f and tell me what you think?:) Be honest!:)
<st2> -> *ak47-* so am i

<GrndZero> goonie: For $200/hour I'll even configure your girlfriend for you

<aiel> if you want your WM to look like wmaker, then run wmaker, duh
<jdh_> I want my WM to look like dos 3.0
* aiel hands jdh an old floppy with DOS 3.0 on it
<jdh_> cool
* jdh_ fires it up

* akopps * away
<RazWrzCop> akopps uses the wildcard method to say "I'm doing anything"
<darn> i thought it was a pointer
<st2> ..like having sex with sheeps..
> hmm could be a pointer to a sheep
> or a pointer to an array or linked list of sheep
* sjh notes a linked list of sheep is a pretty bad image
<RazWrzCop> recursive sheep queue
<darn> maby just a dangleing pointer to a used sheep
<RazWrzCop> sheep->link=sheep;
<aiel> if (ptr == (sheep*)NULL) { printf ("Null sheep available\n"); }
> well something dangling near a sheep at least
<RazWrzCop> sheep.addMember((sheep *)akkops);
<RazWrzCop> sjh: since akopps was obviously derived from base class sheep... we don't really even need to type cast it to add it into the recursive linked list of sheep objects
* RazWrzCop compiles akopps_sheep_loop.cc
<darn> most people who have sheep have a flock or a heard, but he has a harem.

<shokkwave> I am dyslexic of borg prepare to have your ass laminated

<SLC> Hi... Pine asks me to protect my directory, because the mailbox is vulnerable.. what to do!?:)
<SansGrip> SLC: buy a gun

* asako launches into a great fable of love, desperation, honor, and coffee spilled on motherboards.

<joff> I talked to my potential landlord today and he said the rent and deposit went down!
<Bensinc> That means your apartment is full of animal carcases and urine.
<Bensinc> It doesn't even have a number now, your address will just be "434 Blah Street #urine!"
<joff> buy they're spraying anti-urine all over the place I guess
<Bensinc> Uh-oh, we filled this apartment with urine! Let's lower the price.
<Bensinc> But when you mix urine and anti-urine, there is an uncontrolled release of energy!

<xL> hmmm.. On today's list of thing to do is to make a list of all trojans I need to install on the servers here before I end my job here
* aiel changes all root passwords
<xL> aiel: obfuscated crontabs rule the planet

* Starfox purrs at Liandrin
<xL> oh no
<xL> it's starfox
<xL> and I have a restraining order
* xL hides behind X
<Liandrin> aww, lookat the cute widdle Starfox
<xL> cute? cute? he's mad, MAD i tell you!! He ate my hamster!
<Starfox> I did not!
<Starfox> Just cuz you had a sexual perversion with your hamster doesn't mean you can blame me for it

<Tasuki> PCkid!!
* Tasuki pr0ds PCkid
<asako> * Tasuki pr0ns PCkid

############ buttload3 release 3 ends, release 4 begins ##############

<Petsah> dademurphy: there's more than one, see the FAQ
<Petsah> dade: read it 70 times like the rest of us
<Petsah> or once like the rest of me, since I'm literate and didn't use the isp-hookup howto to learn to read like most linux newbies do

*Tasuki* Can I make a shameless attempt to get buttloaded?

<Petsah> I mean, seriously: if they took a random sample of 100 people with computers, they'd find 99 people running doze, 1 person running macos, and 2 people scurrying about with clues running Linux
* sjh wonders how epesh gets 102 people in a sample population of 100
<Petsah> sjh: not me, microsoft
<Petsah> they use pentiums, don't you know...

* gummi pretends to perform cunnilingus on a 110 V Wall Socket and finds that it's indeed an explosive experience.

<Docboy> now would be a great time to put that pr0n back on my calculator....
<Tamahome> pr0n on a calculator, for people that have WAAAAAAAAY too much time on their hands.

<lip> I need to wipe a directory tree
<iO> lip: rm -rf
<lip> rm -rf <dir name> ?
<Docboy> lip naw, use / cause then you get EVERYTHING

<Petsah> nickometer An0n0jMuz
<Petsah> <Peleshet> 'An0n0jMuz' is 99.4% lame, Petsah

* SlashWolf:#linux locks himself in a room, swears off red meat, sex, and all other worldly pleasures and dedicates his life to reading HOW-TO's. ;)

<denardis> 'he doesn't like you' 'i'm sorry' 'i don't like you either, i've got the death penalty in 7 systems, you just watch yerself' 'i'll be careful' 'you'll be dead'

<shokkwave> programming in pascal is like feeling up a first cousin
<shokkwave> its mildly stimulating but leaves you feeling guilty and dirty

<Mithy> I like it better than BX in fact, but BX does have that one nice feature
<Tasuki> Mithy: what nice feature?
<Tasuki> Mithy: the ability to annoy the shit out of #linux chanops in a single bound?

<Strider> my mac's board can suport 4 Cpus.. it could suport 64 000 CPUs if somone were to make a processor daughter card with that many cpus.. :)
<st2> Strider: You sick puppy. 64,000 CPUs going through a PCI bus is like sucking a 50ton tank thru a straw.

<asako> "what is leenucks?"
<Docboy> fluffy: its ooks not ucks
* Tamahome pronounces it lih-nucks and doesn't give a flying fuck if anyone thinks it's wrong.
* sjh pronounces it fish... and also doesnt give a fuck what others think

* asako racks his tired brains
<Criggie> asako: you have smp brains?

<BaByMeL> what is WOOTSHELL ?
<shocking> wootshell is where elmer fudd goes
<jdh> be vewwy vewwy qwiet, I'm hunting wabbits
> jdh: you mean be vewwy vewwy qwiet, I'm hunting secwuity holes

* moogy thinks kernel updates are a plot to undermine uptime records

* asako wonders why we haven't opped st2 yet.
*** Mode change "+o st2" on channel #Linux by X

<jql> GCC programming for $1: The assembly-language syntax of gcc.
<jql> Perl for $1000: Cast a glob into a scalar.
<OldMonk> C for $5000: swap 2 ints in one expression.
<Docboy> OM What is 'you can't on a cold day in hell'?
<OldMonk> i ^= j ^= i ^= j ;
<jql> perl for $50000: The BNF notation describing the Perl language.

* Strider is so tired that he tried to install Linux on his Beagle.

<Docboy> how many channel leaders have we had?
<jql> Docboy: at least 7
<jql> It's rumored they got lives, but nobody *really* believes it.
<jql> The leadership has denied all claims that channel officials are prone to spontaneous life.
<moogy> jql: just spontaneous combustion! ::poof:: there goes another #linux op
*** jql has been kicked off channel #linux by jql (*poof*)

<Docboy> i happen to like a window manager that has nekkid chicks hanging from netscape...

* nelsk lost her better than ezra cd :(
* Xscope stole it
* nelsk smacks Xscope
* Xscope throws nelsk into /dev/null

<Moshing> Then again, maybe I'm just dating the wrong girl. ;)
<rosc> try a sheep..?
<Moshing> Nah. I like to have conversations and sentimentality and shit, too.
<rosc> sheep bleat sympathetically..you should be content

/* editor's note: APUE is Advanced Programming in the Unix Environment a 1500 page hard cover text book by W R Stevens */
* Tasuki inspects his belly button
<Tasuki> So THAT'S where APUE went

* Coronach pounces on Xscope and shows him what a real man can do with swiss cheese, a bottle of motor oil, and a bag of cookies.

<mod> zircon sucks
<rosc> yeah but bitchx swallows
* rosc decides it a good day to be obscene.

#I# SANTA-COW (D_k_S@larnaca31.cylink.com.cy) joined channel #linux #I# jdh_ changed nickname to SATAN-COW
* SATAN-COW moo's at SANTA-COW

* DW trys to think of something intellegent to say, falling that he sits down in a corner of the channel and starts playing jacks
* rosc breaks out the Tiddly-Winks
* rosc steals DW's jacks
* sjh hands DW the microsoft intelligent sayings program...
* sjh shoots self for being a moron
* DW pops rosc with the rubber ball
* eeyore- tries to strike up a conversation with DW in the corner, failing that he starts juggling away...
* rosc eats the rubber ball

* rosc rm -rf's /usr/X11* out of boredom

* Tasuki bangs his head into the monitor
* druiid watches tasuki bang his head against his monitor..
> druiid: yeah good clean fun, entertainment for the whole family that tasuki
* sjh rings up the sattelite tv companny and asks them why they havent got the 24 hour tasuki channel yet

<Tasuki> I have no face
<Tasuki> I am a digital entity
<Tasuki> Designed only to IRC my pointless life away
* Tasuki talks in binary with a sexy server in Germany

/* editor's note: this was submitted by tasuki */
<occupant> is the unrelaeased buttload avalable in #linuxwarez:?
* occupant ducks
* Tasuki sics a sex deprived sheep on occupant
<shokkwave> baaaaad boy baaaaaaaad boy

<Tamahome> sjh: Ghost in the Shell is an award winner
<Tansri> what kind of shell ? was it csh?

<GeoSoft> who can tell me... i have a .c file and how i will make a .exe ?
<jdh> GeoSoft: mv foo.c foo.exe

<asako> trister: if you say 'ne1' one more fucking time I will 'ne1' your cranium until it cracks.

<asako> Jeez, Tama, relax.
<Tamahome> asako: bite me.
* asako bites Tamahome.
* Tamahome kicks asako again.

<ARRoW> Hey, I run a free linux dial-up system, is there a way to only throw off the windows/mac users when the load gets to high?

<JackHammr> I believe i've made a valuable discovery tonight.
<fretless> JackHammr found his penis!

<illuzion> Java ICQ crashes more than an unpatched win95 getting winnuked, sspinged, teardropped and LANDed all at the same time

<hades> i don't buy used unless i sleep with the person selling to me ;)
* fretless points out that hades will NEVER buy anything from him
<illuzion> doc: I guess that leaves, well, you.. and err, teddy.. :)
<hades> ill: i bought lots of stuff from my teddy bear =)

> my computer is doing it again... turning itrself on
<rosc> try pulling the plug out and see if it still turns itself on..if it does, its possessed by the devil...
<aiel> it has Intel Inside, so the devil came with the package

<st2> Compaq+MS promised 99.9% uptime. But that means 0.365 day downtime... which (assuming each reboot take 5minutes) would be a total of 105 reboots in a year.
<st2> that's like crashing once every three days.

> luz: we wont learn btw, we are stupid humans.. people are stupid remember
<illuzion> that brings one hell of a lot of moral decisions into play
<docfu_> illuzion humans are stupid, and ethics and morals don't exist, they are just a goverment plot to contrl us
<docfu_> this is why the US is going after 'saddam'(who is really Enrico Fosloia, a mexican)...

<st2> too bad you can't get hardware using good'ol hunting technique..
<st2> "I'm going into the wood and shoot myself a 8GB harddrive"

<Rezidew> Rel: I narrowed it down to Debian and SuSE and then flipped a coin.
<RelDrgn> Rezidew: flipped... a coin?! this is an important decision!
<RelDrgn> Rezidew: it was worth at least flipping a chicken or a cow

* SUPERfan makes an announcement: The procrastinator's support group meeting... has been postponed

<Bensinc> But in Congo they had a SGI laptop, but it was fake. I still call them every day asking how much it costs though. Sometimes I leave dead animals on their doorstep.

<cmos> st2: she was *the* most beautiful women i've ever seen
<st2> cmos should see more women..
<cmos> nibble gently on my erect joystick
* asako unplugs cmos' joystick
* asako replaces it with a Microfnord Sidewinder.

<Petsah> chadi: lynx rocks
<Petsah> unless you want pr0n
<Petsah> [IMAGE] [IMAGE] [IMAGE] ooo baby!

<Munch> I buttload, You buttload, He buttloads, They buttload
<Petsah> munch: I buttload, you buttload, he buttloads, petsah buttloadeth

*** Jetpilot has been kicked off channel #linux by Petsah (ugh) (60 sec)
> damn that was fast pet
* Petsah shrugs. 475th fastest /zap on IRC, right here, baby.

<jem_> "slow as shit". I wonder what property of shit determines it's seemingly low terminal velocity
> jem: icky and gooey, things that have that sort of feeling and consistancy are not known for their high speed
<jem_> sjh: Perhaps the shit morphs in flight to form the shape with the highest air resistance?

* DeathGod wonder where M$ got their coders, maybe from a box of cookies

* DW_ cuts his nutts off on bleeding edge kde
* rosc gets a jar for DW

<GrndZero> asako: I'm sorry, #linux today has been brought to you by the letters "F", U" and the word "Bitch"

* st2 sorts his laundry.
<st2> DAMN! An odd number of socks!
* st2 counts the number of feet he has...

<dowdle> What's new?
<Chalky> a three letter word

* Chalky looks around for beverage... mmm beer
<fretless> beer.. it's almost beer o'clock in austin :)
<Zymergy> fretless: nothin' like a nice breakfast beer...

<illuzion> fret: how fast is a DS3?
<arrow> illuzion: fast enough to scare the smaertass nextdoor 12 year old know it all :)

<Dave> boy am I EVER glad I aint got no WONTmodem

* arrow relizes he has to pee, and walks over and takes the case off an old windows machine...Ahhhhhhh

* fretless is hungry
* fretless looks around
* fretless sees that mangy cat..
<fretless> mmmm
<illuzion> don't eat the kitty
<Josh_B> Lamer Question: What does "cat" do?
<meteddy> cat: fury little walking soon te be potroast :)

*** PnP_Roost (~rooster@t2o30p39.telia.com) has joined channel #Linux
<fretless> you've got a plug and play chicken??

* Moshing wouldn't touch RedHat 5.0 with a ten-foot pole.
<rosc> moshing, I would, I'd touch it, prod it, poke it, ream it, smash it, etc... :>

*** Signoff: PudWhamp (You should worship the ground I walk on!" "You want to be worshiped? Go to India and Mooo.)

* rosc doesn't worry tho cos she has backups! :P
<krynux> she??
<rosc> yes krynux
<krynux> wo k00l!, a girl that knows linux
* rosc rolls her eyes.
<krynux> sorry, just a little amazed
* Moshing hits on Rosc, because she must be perfect or something. :P
<rosc> krynux, woo k00l! A dick-swinging lamer :P
* Moshing can't imagine a woman who would not only *not* tell him to leave the keyboard, but sit in front of it willingly herself. <G>
<rosc> moshing, yeah right, I must be mentally deficient hanging out with you lusers *bwahahhaa*

<Petsah> tasuki: where can I find the specific syntax for "timer" in EPIC?
<Tasuki> Petsah: the help files. :)
<Petsah> you are SOOOO funny. :)
* Tasuki strokes his goat_ee_ at Petsah
* st2 strokes his goat_nads_

<Lunky> yikes, you have a device??
<Lunky> hehe, I don't tend to refer to my body parts as "devices"

<fretless> not a single BX luser in the channel!
<SpooleR> : bold colons remind u of anything ;o) heheh
*** Mode change "+b *!*@195.244.192.*" on channel #Linux by rosc
*** SpooleR has been kicked off channel #linux by rosc (they remind me of childhood trauma :<)

<illuzion> sjh: resistance is futile, you will be buttloaded

<JollyRgr> I use slak
*** JollyRgr has been kicked off channel #linux by suman (fuck off)
<Petsah> jolly: it's a race to see who kicked you first
<Petsah> jolly: typing long explanations takes time; I was doing it, but I lost.
* aiel lost also
*** JollyRgr has been kicked off channel #linux by sjh (I lost the race I was last)

############ buttload3 release 4 ends, release 5 begins ##############

* Petsah doesn't intentionally try to buttload himself

<Leo_-> petsah: I'll tell you. Whoever invented the alphabet screwed up 3/4 of the world's population
<Petsah> leo: It was originally a joke.. cuneiform ruled the world, dinosaurs ate people, BSD was at release 1.0, and some lame roman decided to fuck up the egyptians

<CapPicard> yikes, autoconf for Eterm is freaking long
<CapPicard> checking for life_signs in -lKenny... no
<CapPicard> Oh my god, they killed Kenny! You bastards!

<Ham> sjh: oh dear, i'm only in it twice. <sigh>
> ham: get funnier
* aiel hands Ham the Buttload-HOWTO

<aiel> <yoda> clues he has none, head up his ass is stuck </yoda>

* st2 would like to ask all of you to not talk so much because it is lagging his pr0nz download...

<razathorn> aiel: the term workstation is blurred...
<Techs> it's blurred because it was rendered on an NT
<st2> the blurred the term workstation with waitstation

<jem> I got Linux for Christmas... but it don't work... I'm taking it back to the shops
<jem> I got Debian from Dad, RedHat from Mum, and slackware from my brother... he's no brother of mine no more

<suman> see my new .signature : Your mouse has moved , windows NT needs to restart for the changes to take effect , reboot [OK] :-)

* Ham ponders obfuscated assembler
* Rezidew ponders obfuscated ham.
* Tamahome ponders obfuscated Rezidew
* Ham ponders obfuscated Tamahome
* suman ponders obfucated #linux
* Petsah just ponders.
* suman ponders himself
* Tamahome ponders pondering
* Ham ponders obfuscated english, as suman has demonstrated for us
* suman studies the art of pondering
* suman ponders while 1
* Tamahome notes suman is locked in an infinite loop
* Rezidew hits ^C
* suman does a yes ponder
<Ham> Too many ponderings encountered.
<Rezidew> THat seemed to work. He moved on to the yes statement.
* suman does a grep ponder 1> /dev/null

<Petsah> actually, I'm wearing a trenchcoat, underwear, and a blanket

<mike2_> what I hate is the massive hard drive thrashing done by NT for no apparent reason
> mike: the lock_machine_and_thrash() call in the undocumented windows API ?
<docphile> sjh MS uses way more underscores
<docphile> it'd be more like mach_ine_lo_ck_ac_tion_thr_ash_(_)__
<Ham> _______________crashanddonttelltheuserwhy___________()
<mike2_> In_ser_t_Rando_m_unde_rsc_Ore()
<Ham> 3`/3_4|\/|_4|\|_31|+3_|\/||(R0$0F+_|-|4(|<3R()
* docphile summons a cyberdemon to harrass ham...
* gargan throws the stop_bad_cyber_demon() function at it /* editor's note: I couldnt read the elite line from ham, so asked for a translation <Ham> sjh: i_am_an_elite_micro$oft_hacker() */

/* editor's note: this was contributed by aiel */
<Petsah> what do you danes know anyway, huh?
<HerrK> we knows its with capital D
<Petsah> herrk: MAYBE THIS WILL MAKE UP FOR IT

<illuzion> oooh the roomd oes ths triipy stuf wehn you sahke youre head

* mesozoic plays Mesozoic - People Who Announce MP3s In Channels Suck.mp3

> and we awoke to the sound of the brass monkeys singing soprano

<aiel> prolly almost as good as when I did 170 mph with a glider plane at 5 feet altitude
<aiel> one mistake with that, and it's *poof* gone
<Zymurgy> no, one mistake and its "splat" gone

* Petsah starts playing topic ball
*** Petsah has changed the topic on channel #linux to my topic is bigger than your topic.

<_phantom> Petsah: what means 2.2.0pre4ac4????
> it is the alan cox patch level 4
* core creates linux-2.2.0-ggi-core-pre5 just for the heck of it.

<core> petsah: actually, all americans who can spell four syllable words correctly are just called canadians *duck*
<shocking> gee core
<core> shocking? *innocent smile #72*

<aiel> r080Tz - where did you get the crazy notion that we nuke NT boxen from here all day?
<core> aiel: we don't?
<aiel> core - no, we walk over to the server room. and hit em with a hammer
* core stops his 350 teardrop processes

<shocking> whats console mode ? *duck*
<rosc> its just like X really.. minus the background and widgets

<core> sjh: you haven't updated your buttload, damn you :)
> core: I said about 24 hours in the future from a few hours ago
<core> sjh: why not now?
> core: because I dont want to release a new version of it with only about 6 KB new material... 10 KB new material is better
> core because 10 is a good number, the decimal system is based on it
<core> sjh: i count in base 6
> almost finished the 10 KB
<core> sjh: in base 6
<core> i give time in base 6 too
<core> like, omg, it's already 3:112
<core> (PM)

<Rarity> what's the command to mount your modem?
<GrndZero> Rarity: 'insert penis in modem'
<shocking> GZ sheesh
<GrndZero> shocking: Oh I was just kidding
<core> grndzero: sure, that's why your modem is curved now
<Petsah> core: no, his modem didn't notice

<Coma> debian is like crack
<core> coma: i tried smoking the cds, it doesn't smell good

<Kazz> core: <harrass> Have you checked the CVS yet? </harrass> ;)
<core> kazz: <blatant_lie> yes, of course </blatant_lie> :)
<Kazz> core: <see_through_the_lie> Oh yeah? What's the problem then?
</see_through_the_lie> ;)
<core> kazz: <engineer_mumbo_jumbo> oh, one screw went loose
</engineer_mumbo_jumbo>

* Docboy isn't islamic
<gummi> Docboy, unbeliever... May Allah smite thee..
* Moshing farts in the general direction of Mecca, thus being marked for death by muslims everywhere.
<Fr0stByte> hey to all those people who cant install linux IF YOU CANT INSTALL IT GOOD LUCK RUNNING IT take that into consideration... jezus im sick of people msging me like i dont understand how to install it
<gummi> Too all those people who can't install Linux, good luck running it May Allah be with you. aman.

* gummi dreams he has a beautifull maiden with perfumed hair and long silky garments.. No, take that back a dozen beautifull maidens.
<Docboy> naw, wouldn't wanna damage your feeble mind

* illuzion plays Joint Strike Fighter
<Moshing> Illu: Joint Strike? Is that a marijuana seizure or somethin?

<HetField> does anyone know how do i get my linux to support the holy language hebrew ?
<Docboy> hetfield first bless everything in the computer, has your CPU been circumsized?

* core hands dishwasha humor
* aiel hands core "humour"
* RelDrgn adds the letter u to all wourds with the letter o :P

/* editor's note: I said something about Schrodinger's Cat */
<Khalimero> sjh: due to the theories of relativity, the cat is about 27% dead :))

<core> you have choosed 1. sensual women; now press 1 for alexandra, 2 for bridgette or 3 for bob
* Tamahome chooses 3
<Tamahome> just for laughs

<t0xic_> How can I deliver mail to a NT Exchange?
<core> Exchange algorithm goes like:
<core> while (1) {
<core> if (easter_weekend()) { error (2403); exit(); }
<core> if (msg->smtp->id & SMTP_APPLE_CLASS) { error (rand() * 9999; exit (); }
<core> if (msg->smtp->id & SMTP_SUN_CLASS) { error (ERROR_JAVA_INCOMPATIBILITY); exit (); }
<core> if (msg->smtp->id % 2359825) deliver();
<core> msg->senderror (550);
<core> }
<core> they got the algorithm from lotus notes i believe.
<akopps> core: I thought it goes something like if (random() > 10 || random() < 23.4 ) { error (2403); exit(); }
<core> akopps: no, that was Exchange 5.0
<core> akopps: they completely rewrote it for Exchange 6

* RelDrgn really isnt a bastard operator, he has the heart of a young boy... in a jar on my desk

<docfu> "feather is sexy; entire chicken is kinky."

############ buttload3 release 5 ends, release 6 begins ##############

#I# Signoff: Firebird (Read error: 666 (Connection reset by Satan))

<cmos_> we got all the foodgroups here
<cmos_> steak, onions, and beer

<kleptog> "Windows 98 is less an operating system than an Internet Explorer delivery device"

* docfu can't really remember what he's been doing the last 12 hours.
<docfu> anyone got a lastlog of me?

<Zymurgy> aiel: so why exactly do you have a wall that you hate, and what is your emotional state with your other walls, not to mention floor and ceiling? :)

* shocking watches the innuendo fly
<Zymurgy> shocking: its kinda late for that... the innuendos should've migrated last month...

<shocking> i have a problem
<JKretz> help me please
<shocking> fuck off i was here first

> hmm time to get someone from the gay and lesbian mardi gras in sydney to write a sex change howto maybe ?
<rosc> I could make em female...where's my scalpel....
<rosc> step one: get a jar
<shocking> #2 sharps snips and a spoon
<rosc> whats the spoon for?
* Zymurgy sees the beginning of a new howto...
<shocking> scoop the filling out
<rosc> it usually just drops into the jar...unless ya didnt cut it right..

* hari wonders what would happen if M$ tried to make their own Linux distribution.
<hari>perhaps logging in as root would start the "rm -r /* Wizard"...

<Epesh> aiel; like golf and sleeping
<Coma> sleeping is a nice sport
* Coma would make a good marathon sleeper
* Coma pins a number on his back and starts sleeping
* Gnuspice pins a tail on Coma and releases the children

* phydeaux ponders "Lemon-Scented Stapled Buttloads"..

* Tasuki sips a beer
* Greyfox would kill for a beer.
* Starfox kills tasuki for the beer

<RelDrgn> Tasuki: i sure as hell aint going to send him MY penis
* RelDrgn happens to be holding his penis right now so he knows its safe... err...

> jklock, yeah their idiot control panel does that
<uz> there's a control panel for me now? cool! make me taller!

<aiel> whenever I see that new debian code name "potato" I can't help but think that Debian should come up with another theme for their code names.
<Coma> aiel: how about dr00gs
<Coma> aiel: then you can say you're on crack or xtc

<phydeaux> Anyone know where the vms junkies hang out ?
<Coma> phyd: at woodstock

<st2> What? OM is only 38?!?!
* st2 starts questioning his "monkness" since his "oldness" isn't all that true.

* phydeaux wonders.. "It's 10am, Where are all the DEC geeks?"

* Tasuki looks around
* sjh scoops reso's eyes out with a spoon
<Tasuki> sjh: good to see^H^H^Hsmell you too

<Wintre> zebulun: "Gay" is not a pejorative. Don't use it like one.
<Zebulun> i think SGI is just plain hetrosexually challenged (looks at Wintre)

* Coma plays enjoy_the_silence.mp3
* Ham notes enjoy_the_silence.mp3 is a symlink to /dev/zero

> yes, IMO it cant be beaten
* Coma picks up a baseballbat and beats debian
* Kazz defends Debian against Coma!
<Kazz> My bat is strong with the power of Debian!
* Kazz is the Debian Avatar!

<snowwhite> smart guys
* Kazz looks snowwhite over and scratches his head...then makes strange grunting noises to the other ops...
<Kazz> snowwhite: You ask again. Maybe we answer. We smart.

<Coma> snow: just looks like no one uses e here
<Unknown3> i use e
* cygan is dyslexic
* cygan uses F
* cygan saw a satanist at the dyslexic club yesterday. He sold his soul to SANTA.

* shocking hasnt any _really_ bad habits
<shocking> could develop some tho with the right provocation
<Kazz> shocking: ...except murdering prostitutes and eating their livers...

<aiel> sheep bleat, they don't drive to LA :/

/* editor's note: this was contributed by tasuki */
<Melanc> IPChains rules!
<Tasuki> Melanc: amen! Preach it brotha!
* Melanc preaches: I was loooost-ah! I looked at IPFWADM firewalling, and I was looooooost-ah! I then suddenly stumbled upon a guy in #linux stating that ipchains was coooooonsfusing-ah! So I looked it up! YES! I looked it up! And praise Linux! I WAS SAVED! YES, LORD LINUX! I was saaaaved-ah! In just a few hours everything worked! YES! Everything! Even ICQ fuctions that never worked before! PRAISE LINUX AND THE IPCHAINS! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamen! ;)

<docfu> after all, real coders code in pen...
<Tasuki> I thought real coders punched holes in cards
<Zymurgy> real coders redirect /dev/ttyS0 to a file and whistle into a 300 baud acoustic coupled modem...

* PCkid pulls her nighty back up
<docfu> is it one of those black lace jobs? :)
<PCkid> docfu: no, blue satin
<docfu> i gotta get you a quickcam...
<Kazz> docfu: If you buy me one, I'll dress up in a "black lace job" and send you pictures... ;)

<uz> thanks sjh, i dunno htf i am gonna get out the door now, what with my head bein all swole up =)
* sjh hands uz a pin
* mike_ borrows a piece of sellotape, and petsahs pin, sticks the tape to uz' swelled head, and inserts the pin and listens to his head slowly deflate
* Petsah fires a bullet at uz's head, much quicker
<mike_> Petsah: I was trying to do it with minimum inconvenience to the chan <wipe, wipe>

<Coronach> C.. nah... PERL is my bitch for CGI
<jbaitis> samba is my bitch!
<GrndZero> dosemu is my bitch

#I# users on #linux: numbers: all 2, ops 1, other 1, Nicknames: akopps @sjh
<akopps> Is this a split or you were just testing your new /masszap ? :p

<druiid> xscope: well... actually... I kinda liked one of their older versions of front-page... it deleted everything on your HD... now THAT'S a feature :)

* druiid holds his ox-skin up for everyone to see!
* Xscope douses the skin in gasoline and lights it ablaze
* shocking breaks out the marshmallows
<GrndZero> shocking: sounds kinky
<shocking> GZ...... there is something wrong with you if mashmallows are kinky

* GrndZero bats his eyes at shocking in an attempt to woo her with his cute eyelashes
* shocking bats her eyelashes at GZ
<druiid> grndzero: you couldn't woo anyone... even if your name was Woo... Woo Hoo for that matter..

<shocking> foreplay? is that like a golf thing?

<kleptog> "Only wimps use tape backup: _real_ men just upload their important stuff on ftp, and let the rest of the world mirror it ;)" - Linus Torvalds -- what a cool quote...

<ReaperSMS> I can barely sleep with this cable
<docfu> i get no damn sleep with this ds3 i tell ya :P
<ReaperSMS> so many mp3's/pr0n, so little time

<Bensinc> <GLARKON>Yarr me mateys!</GLARKON>
* sjh notes html will be a scary thing if ben ever gets on the w3c comittee
<Bensinc> New in HTML 5.0: The <GLARKON> tag opens up extradimensional space that allows undead boars to enter your plane of existance. Be sure to use </GLARKON>!

<Bensinc> My toilet is aerodynamic!
<Bensinc> I'm sure it could do mach 2 if it wasn't a toilet.

* Kazz starts writing buttlord...full of funny, strange, and embarrassing quotes from people from #Linux, but none of them are real!
<sq000s> buttlord? that some kind of homo thing?
<Kazz> --------- 1 kazz kazz 59314367 Jan 22 14:35 buttlord.text
<Kazz> No one can read it! Muhahaha...

<uz> i can understand how language developed...first were pointed to referants... then abstraction...but htf did folks figure out that you could smoke grass, or tobacco?
<Epesh> uz: those I can understand... brocolli or artichokes are the ones I can't figure out
<Epesh> I mean, you eat marijuana, you get anice buzz. You eat artichoke leaves and you end p with ripped intestines. "Yes, let's keep eating those, they killed Thag."
<uz> i mean, did somebody wander through the woods, rolling joints of pine needles? saying nah man, this don't cut it

############ buttload3 release 6 ends, release 7 begins ##############

#I# sjh changed nickname to sjh_afk
* OldMonk attaches sjh's keyboard to him with superglue.
<OldMonk> * sjh_afk is now known as sjh

/* editor's note: I was told I should add this I hadnt planned to, although I could just be saying this so no one suspects the size of my ego, to tell the truth I will probably have to move house or something soon to allow for my growing ego... yada yada yada */
* sjh wonders if he should add the dates on which epesh touches procmail to buttload.. although I suppose touching is alright... but feeling up or going the grope on procmaill.... now that could be news worthy

<Coma> aiel: and the best one can get. from the uni wageningen again
<aiel> Coma - bwahaha, they have weed plants there? :)
<aiel> well, I guess farmers need to go with their time
<Coma> aiel: a couple of students did it as project. how to get more thc in one plant
<Coma> well, they succeded
<Petsah> did they remember to turn in their results?
<Petsah> "Yo, dewwwwd... this stuff is awwwwwwesome." "Don't we do something for, um, class with it?" "We're in class?"
* sjh buttloads
* Coma loads bud

<Greyfox> What exactly the fuck is buttload?
<Kazz> Greyfox: It sends mail, of course!
<docfu> greyfox imagine every stupid thing thats ever been said in here, take the funniest ones and then take 1/100th of those, add in some stupid cache phrases, descriptions and mebbe a pizza and whiskey, and you've got the buttload

<cmos> Linux doc 2.2.0-final #2 SMP Thu Jan 21 18:11:21 NZDT 1999 i686 unknown
<st2> you named your computer after docboy?!?!

<Epesh> hmm, they need a "hooker barbie"
<Epesh> kaz: not officially. This one has a special function: show her money and her legs fly open
<Kazz> Epesh: She could be kinda' like those nutcracker christmas ornament things...you know, you pull the string and the arms and legs fly out? ;)
<Kazz> Fisting Barbie and Gay Pr0n Star Ken!
<Kazz> CbWan: Sorry, we can't help you right now...Mind Control Barbie is playing with us. :(

<Kazz> I really want to get a portable mp3 player...
<Ham> The only reason I could imagine why you'd NEED a solid state device like that is if you're living in a paint shaker.

<Misery> anyone experts in linux here?
<Zymurgy> Misery: no we just name the channel #linux to throw off the black helicopter people.. we actually all use <name of OS censored> in here...
<illuzion-> I thought we all sold blue carpet..
<Zymurgy> illuzion-: thats the cover story on tuesdays and fridays... you missed the last meeting when we decided that...
* Kazz hands illuzion- a card..."Well, if you ever need more blue carpet, you know where to get it..."
<Starfox> Misery: No, this is a Windows-only channel
<Kazz> Starfox: Look...if you're not going to help us sell blue carpet, you can just leave. :P

<Zymurgy> sigh... so many pebcak's, so little time...
<illuzion-> zym: shoot them all on sight, it's the only way
<Zymurgy> illuzion-: I ran out of ammo last week... you got any left?
* illuzion- hands Zymurgy a few thousand clips
<illuzion-> zym: that should hold you for another suburb or so
* Zymurgy loads up with an evil cackle and heads back up to the top of the bell tower....

<MAD-COW> how do i unshadow my passwd file ?
<Zymurgy> MAD-COW: use a softer light source...

<Moshing> IcegIrL: Sorry, missy.. You forgot to capitalize that sentence, there are no signs of punctuation, or sentence structure, and you forgot to put a period on the end. You fail this assignment.

<asako> tummy: 100% pure 200 proof debian

<illuzion-> oh yay
* illuzion- hacked root on his toaster, finally
<Kazz> illuzion-: d00d gimm3' 4 sh3ll!
<illuzion-> eXtRREmE
* illuzion- gives Kazz a l33t shell on his toaster
* Kazz h4qx0rz th3 P3n4g0n frUm h1z 31337 t04st3r sh3ll!
<illuzion-> "Mister President, we've had a security breach." "Really? From where?" "Some elitist hax0r with an over-enthused toaster.."

<kleptog> sjh: just realize perl is all about manipulating lists, and you've got the important part..
<aiel> then manipulate lists with it, instead of using it for bloody well everything

<dochades> well, i play the games, i don't need the boxes... :)
<dochades> (unlike every game for the amiga, which had cool boxes)
<st2> Some kids in 3rd world country just play with empty boxes.

<Petsah> sjh; ah, slow colours then. If you'd gotten red they'd be faster
* Wormy paints his cpu red
<Petsah> wormy: you just added a few MIPS, probably

<Wintre> Oh man.
<Wintre> Somebody just used "slashdot" as a verb in this channel
<Wintre> Such lows to which we have sunk

* OldMonk likes nazis.
* OldMonk goosesteps around the channel. Heil Linus^H^H^H^H^HHitler

* evilPetey has coffee, cheese, bread, sleep, liquid pizza and the kidney stones, pr0n
<evilPetey> is that everything that is important?
<stimps> cats, petey.
<evilPetey> cats aren't important
<evilPetey> cats are the other other white meat

<GrndZero> docfu: win32 works fine :)
<Tamahome> WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE REAL GrndZero?!?

<GrndZero> Ooog learned everything he knows from a gay hooker on 3rd ave

<st2> ENOCANDOMAN

<aiel> IRIX's thread support in 6.4 was a joke
* st2 invents something better than thread: wire!

<Ooog> IE4 is barf
<Sharks> It's worst than barf, it's pure and refined extracts of barf to maximize odor.

#I# Signoff: aiel (In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.)

#I# Signoff: Svenniboy (BitchX: EPIC on steroids.)
> yeah epic on steroids illegal and banned substances we will have to remove all bitchx users from competition

<a-ko> guys, please take into consideration that the only thing i know about kernels is that my kernel32.dll crashes more often then a calculator trying to run quake

* sjh ponders the incredibly good and secure password "password" on all the boxes
<Tasuki> sjh: how did you find out my password?
* Tasuki quickly changes all his passwords to passw0rd

<Fubar> any of you familiar with elf-programming?
<Moshing> Fubar: No, they tend to run away on me before I can finish.
<Moshing> If I could program elfs, I'd have them bake me cookies n' shit. :P
* sjh wonders where the bootrom's are, under their little beards maybe?

<DeathGod> Nickname: Try "/quit let the fun begin" it's very amusing #I# Signoff: NickName (let the fun begin)

* st2 wonders if his toilet is haunted.
<sq000s> st2: less grass
<st2> mike: nah! I think it's just haunted!
<shocking> i hate haunted toilets

* Epesh is happily married also; I just don't say that much
<Kazz> Epesh: I hope you told the goat that... :\
<Epesh> I told the goatie that. :)

<wasmanoma> when i compiles enlightenment.. it said i was missing mass_quantities_of_bass_ale from fridgelib.so.. anyone know what package or where i can get fridgelib.so?

> I think it is fine to call linux what ever the fuck you want
<Ham> sjh: Whateverthefuckyouwant 2.2.1
* Greyfox suspects the whole Linux name pronunciation imbrolio is a Microsoft plot.
* Xscope thinks Greyfox is a Microsoft plot
* GrndZero thinks women are a microsoft plot to distract him from the one true religion of linuxism

<Greyfox> Ham: You showing the channel ops furry porn again?
<Ham> Grey: does Lisa Simpson pr0n count?
<Greyfox> alt.binaries.pr0n.toon.lisa.simpson?

<aiel> *sigh*
<Tasuki> Wassa matter?
<aiel> nothing, just relieving air

* shocking is doing sat night vi wrestling
<Zymurgy> is vi wrestling done with mud?
<shocking> why?
<Zymurgy> just wondering? *innocent whistle*
<shocking> you cant whistle any better than i can :P
* Zymurgy ponders the implications of vi wrestling with jello...

<asako> 250 inconnu.paradox.gen.nz Hell Tamahome!~smcgover@205.211.60.59 [205.211.60.59], eYe 0wn j00.
<Tamahome> asako: j00 d0nut 0wn 4ny0n3.
* st2 0wn a11 0f j00!
<Tamahome> 3y3 c4nn0t b3 0wn3d.
<asako> Tama: j00 kn0e j00 l13.
<Tamahome> 3y3 d0nut l13...3y3 y4m th3 3l33+3st.
* Epesh c4ann0t r33d this shit.

<Tamahome> Landon: when I find the right girl, she's not going near you with a 10 foot pole -_-
<GrndZero> Tamahome: How do you know I won't lure her away for a night in the bed-o-love with my unmatched charm? ;)
<Tamahome> oh yeah, shitloads of charm
<Tamahome> NOT.
<GrndZero> Tamahome: You'd have seen my charming, witty side if you had breasts and a vagina

<kleptog> "If Bill Gates had a dime for every time a Windows box crashed... Oh, wait a minute, he already does."

<Epesh> glue: modems and X have nothing to do with each other
<GluE> Epesh, how can I setup Internet for X then?
<Epesh> glue: internet and X have nothing to do with each other, just as I said
<GluE> serious?
<Epesh> no, I just lie for the heck of it
<Epesh> glue: okay, let me say this again, verrry slowly
* Epesh types slowly
<Zymurgy> Epesh: the first part of dealing with a problem is admitting you have one... congratulations... :)
<GluE> then wat is all netscape, IRC in X for?
<Epesh> glue: internet and X have nothing to do with each other... modems and X have nothing to do with each other
<GluE> what u need X then?
* Zymurgy watches the shepherd Epesh at work
<Epesh> you can <hint, hint> set up 'net access w/o X... and run X without the 'Net

<Epesh> and here I am in the wrong nick
<Zymurgy> Epesh: what, you got like a closet of nicks that you change into and out of like suits of clothing?
* Zymurgy pictures Petsah standing in front ot a mirror trying on nicks.... "does this make me look too fat?" #I# Petsah changed nickname to Aleph
<Zymurgy> the Aleph one definately accentuates your eyes though...

<vic2> drittskaller
* Zymurgy looks at that and waits for the translation in the earphone...

<Epesh> I need to get a debian CD sometime
* Zymurgy gets a magic marker out and writes "Debian" over his win95 cd...

<Ooog> Upgrade Coma
* Zymurgy watches Ooog try to install an upgrade into Coma

############ buttload3 release 7 ends ################################